The Price of Protecting Your Peace

Raw Chapter No. 005

Somewhere between wanting peace and actually get it, I realized peace isn’t always peaceful to obtain.

Sometimes it’s uncomfortable as hell to get there because the second you refuse to be available 24/7…understanding every time…accommodating every request…and swallowing your differences to avoid conflict…

somebody is going to be triggered by a boundary that you set.

Normally we glorify protecting our peace like it’s some sort of elevated spiritual process. Like you wake up one day, put some boundaries in place, drink some water, mind your business and BOOM...everything is hassle-free.

Baby, please.

I realized protecting your peace usually comes with some type of consequence.

Someone gets offended.

Plans change.

Phone calls go unanswered.

Texts left on unread.

Invitations become rare.

And that can hurt because boundaries are not something you only have to put with people you like. Sometimes the people we have to set boundaries with are the people we love the most and that's where the guilt comes in.

You suddenly start to question…

-Am I being selfish?

-Am I too sensitive?

-Am I pushing everyone away?

-Am I too damn rude refusing to let them walk all over me?

You start to question if maybe it would’ve been easier to just let that one thing go…

But how many times can you allow someone to cross your boundaries before you realize YOU are the ONLY ONE shouldering the consequences of what you’ve allowed?

That's NOT peace, that's avoidance pretending to be patience.

I think at some point, especially as we grow older, we all reach a point where we learn the difference between keeping peace and having peace.

Keeping peace means holding your tongue.

Having peace means knowing when to speak up.

Keeping peace means accepting that apology and allowing them back in your life with open arms.

Having peace is admitting that apology is no longer sufficient.

Keeping peace is saying you will when you really want to say no.

Having peace is accepting that no is a valid answer… PERIODT. (even if others don’t like it)

And when you start setting boundaries with the people you love… that’s when disappointment comes flying.

They’ll be disappointed you’re not as available as you used to be.

They’ll be disappointed that you now come with boundaries.

They’ll be disappointed you finally decide to address the things they continuously “brushed off”.

LET. THEM. FEEL. ALL OF THAT!! !

There’s a fine line between setting a boundary and destroying a person’s spirit.

Setting boundaries with people you love means setting that line extremely clear.

Protecting your peace isn’t about pushing people away. It’s about protecting yourself from the type of people that WILL push away once they realize you’re no longer willing to settle.

Some will embrace the better version of you.

Some will not.

Some will grow with you and understand that love isn’t about having unlimited access to each other.

Some will use your boundaries as the reason they decide to leave.

And that, right there is the difference.

Not because you love them any less….

Not because they’re no longer good people.

But because you understand that in order for you to love others YOU must love YOU first.

Until the next Raw Chapter... 💋